I saw the way you looked at her, and then back at me. Disgusted. Annoyed. You glanced at your friend conspiratorially; your face said, “Why would she bring a child here?” You were genuinely bothered. I imagine you think the best place for her is at home.… READ THE REST
You can never be fully prepared for the parenthood experience, but there are certain things I never thought to expect. These 10 things sit outside the realm of sleep depravation and diapers.
- Children cannot be trusted. “Don’t let them out of your sight” is basically the tagline of parenthood, and not because there is danger lurking in every corner (there is though, so don’t consider relaxing).
I tried to get pregnant last month. And by try, I mean… I very half heartedly attempted to get pregnant. I would describe my activity as “not avoiding it.” I found myself reading a lot about discharge… which was incredibly sexy.… READ THE REST
I’m a stay-at-home mom who firmly believes that cooking and cleaning are not part of my job description. Do I make meals for my child? Absolutely. Do I maintain a level of cleanliness in my home as not to attract bugs and avoid hazards, sure.… READ THE REST
There’s a lot of things that set my husband apart from the men I was with, but didn’t marry. He has a particular goodness about him. He called me, he drove to me, he invited me. He had a presence even when he wasn’t present.… READ THE REST
Are you on the fence about having children? I understand. At least once a day my own child has me convinced this wasn’t the best idea. This is one of those ‘no take backs’ situations I’ve gotten myself into. The daily thrill and misery of parenthood has given me perspective I didn’t have when I was young and thought I wouldn’t have kids until I was much older, or maybe ever.… READ THE REST
Life is full of shades of gray, but some things are black and white. If you do any of these, Harry Potter’s sorting hat just put you in the asshole house. If you’re an offender, you might have everyone you know, and strangers, screaming: YOU ARE THE WORST.… READ THE REST
I found myself surrounded by a younger crowd last weekend. It was all bikinis and Monster energy drinks, music I hadn’t heard of. As I readjusted my one piece I was filled with a sense of relief (mostly), for I have come so far:
- I like the taste of alcohol.
There comes a time in life when affairs, like death, become unavoidable. They become a part of the adult landscape; you just hope the bomb doesn’t go off too close to home. That the shrapnel doesn’t hit your family. This week, it landed in my inbox.… READ THE REST
The Internet used to be my happy place, but lately it’s only been good for wasting my time and killing my vibe. As much as I’d love to take some responsibility for my feelings, there’s a list of culprits that I’d much rather put on blast instead.… READ THE REST
My husband gave me two gifts for Mother’s Day, only one of which made me cry. The album he made full of family photos was indeed thoughtful, but what really got the water works going was a gift that I hope we’ll never need.… READ THE REST
Sunday May 13th marks over a century of celebrating Mother’s Day in the United States. I consider myself a Mother’s Day expert because a) I’ve celebrated 3 and b) I used Wikipedia for this blog. Feel free to use me as an academic citation.… READ THE REST
Having a baby is really cool. Let’s just move past that for a moment, because having a baby is also a nightmare. And I’m pointing a lot of fingers towards pretty much every person I know, because no one will look you in the eye and call a spade a spade.… READ THE REST
Something has been weighing on me for a long time… There’s someone else in my life besides my husband. I get nervous when I see his car and just the sight of him walking towards me makes my heart race. I never thought I’d be in this position – but here I am.… READ THE REST
Find mom friends they say. It’ll be easy they say. Wrong.
My personal experience with motherhood is that the beginning of it can be incredibly isolating. I was a few months post partum and I had finally crawled just far enough out of the black hole that is infancy to realize that I was alone (but not actually ever alone, because of the baby human).… READ THE REST
When I was young I imagined that I’d be married by 20, have kids by 22, and that my husband would be a dream. Well that timeline didn’t play out and on any given day I’d say he’s closer to a night terror that permeates my waking hours.… READ THE REST
It’s happened, I’m now far enough out of high school to speak about it with a modicum of authority, or wistful nostalgia. A full decade has passed (plus) and I’m to the point where I forget how old I am, so I have to remind myself of my birth year and count forward, slowly.… READ THE REST
I typed my maiden name into a form on a webpage and it looked odd sitting beside my first. Foreign and out of place. It was like when you catch a whiff of something and are sure you know the smell, but can’t remember from what.… READ THE REST
I walked into the bar with the intention of grabbing an application and when I saw you I forgot why I had came. For a split second, I forgot that I had recently left a relationship I didn’t want to be out of.… READ THE REST
Being a mom is a lot like being a bartender, people are always wondering what else you do. Like that couldn’t possibly be it. You do everything as a mother, but people still want you to do more. (I check both of these occupation boxes, so I’m not sure if that makes me a very good underachiever or if I’m supposed to add a third more respectable job to the line up).… READ THE REST