An Open Letter To People Who Hate Kids

I saw the way you looked at her, and then back at me. Disgusted. Annoyed. You glanced at your friend conspiratorially; your face said, “Why would she bring a child here?” You were genuinely bothered. I imagine you think the best place for her is at home. But not in front of a TV. I know your type; you have a lot of opinions about how other people parent their children. But I already answer to someone else’s needs; I’m not here to police her into stillness and silence for your benefit.

 

Since you were wondering though, I brought my 2 year old to an art museum for the same reason you and your “I’m too elevated to procreate” bestie with your ironic haircuts and acid wash everything came to this art museum. It was cold, and rainy, and we wanted to get out of the house. We wanted to see art. We are on week 1 of 45 of cold weather here in the Midwest; we’re all just trying not to lose our minds. And you’ll be seeing us around, so get used to it.

 

Sure, sure she was screaming and running there for a second. It took me a minute to catch up to her, because she is fast… in hindsight, a SkyZone would have been a better choice for that day’s activity, but you know… hindsight…

 

If tranq guns were legal, I’d use it. You weren’t the first one with that thought. It’d be easier than intentional parenting. Reciting: “no touching, no running, no yelling” didn’t do the trick, but there we were, trying to get some culture with nothing but snacks and empty threats to enforce good behavior: when my kid started acting like a kid. But remind me again why you’re more deserving of a public appearance?

 

You know, the only thing more annoying than kids, are self-important adults who think they’re the only ones who deserve a seat on a plane, a booth at a restaurant, or a walk on the beach. Fine people of the world, listen up: you have to share. This seems as difficult a concept for you as it is my toddler. But I catch your glances when I’m out, I overhear your conversations at my work, and I see your posts on the Internet. People’s kids annoy you and you’re entitled enough to think you have more ownership over a public space, you think you get to weigh in on parenting from the sidelines.

 

You think of children the way Trump looks at immigrants. You want them gone, out of sight, and you’d like to forget where you, yourself came from. Have some respect for the process that allowed you to be here. Someone already paid your procreation dues. Yes, hats off to your parents who took one for the team and followed through with you. God knows they deserved a handicap in the game of life.

 

She’s still new here. Like to the planet. So she’s excitable. And she likely will be for the next few years. Imagine every time you went somewhere, did something, or had a sensory experience it was like showing up to a bar and finding out it’s half off everything. Her life right now is an endless happy hour. She doesn’t understand yet that a lot of people need alcohol to be happy or nice and only get 48 hours a week to do what they want. Let her have this, adulthood is as certain as the long winter.

 

I used to think my life ended when hers began, now I know it restarted, and it came with a serving of humility. Because my baby is going to cry on your flight, she’s going to stop walking directly in front of you in a busy place, and she’s going to peak over the booth to say hello. It’s not always a reflection of my parenting; it’s the nature of a child. They’re sweeter than us both, and luckily more forgiving. So the next time you see a parent in the midst of a situation larger than what they can control (the entirety of parenthood), offer a hand? Or maybe just smile. Because you look ugly with that joyless judgment on your face. And your haircut is stupid.

 

Scarlett is a stay at home-ish mom, bartender, and wife. You can follow her on Instagram.

 

Want to read more great blogs by The Spilled Milk Club? Like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram!

Spread the word:

66 Responses

    1. What makes you think that you and your spawn is entitled to everyone’s attention? OMG you are so judgemental. Can’t you imagine that people maybe have a headache, maybe are stressed, introvert or grieving – or simply have no wish to interact with you?

    2. You’re right Christine. Me and my “spawn” are soo entitled! Next time my 2 year old smiles and says “hi” to someone at the store, I’ll make sure to quickly explain how unbelievably rude he is being and how dare he think that he deserves a half second response from a stranger he’s trying to interact with. Thank you for setting him and I straight!

      Go fall over.

    1. Laura M Lucio yah let’s strip them of any and all freedom of choice. You didn’t let her pick her bedtime, or whether or not she’s vaccinated. Choice builds confidence, and confident children become capable adults. People be CRAZY.

    1. Hey Janet! I️ do appreciate the feedback and you reading. We all have to stand by our personal convictions and I️ don’t feel like sacrificing mine in an effort to secure more likes. Nothing’s more important than standing by our beliefs, even when it’s not the most inclusive action to take. Thanks again for taking the time to comment!

    1. All was fair once she brought the stink eye 🤷‍♀️ I’ve written about people not wanting to procreate before and I’m all for each individual doing what’s best for themselves! No one should have a child that doesn’t want to. They’re not a one size fits all accessory.

      More importantly, there’s an option that allows you to never see our posts again if that’s what you’d like! 🎉

  1. I got one of those at the eye doctor today. Not from the staff, they were AMAZING! But from another patron. Her look definitely was disapproval- sorry lady… I’m 3 hours away from friends and family and my husband can’t take off work for a 15 minute exam ‍♀️. He was actually perfect but very much a toddler (not staying still or quiet) I just wanted to tell her, hey I’m doing the best I can here. Thanks for this article Scarlett♥️

    1. Amen, just trying to survive! People have wild ideas about what toddlers should be capable of 🤷‍♀️ way to go bringing him to an appointment, I know how stressful that can be. Thanks for reading ❤️ he’s so precious ☺️

    2. The Spilled Milk Club everyone else was giving him atta boys and she was looking at us like I was ruining her spa day. It’s a doctor’s office, it’s not supposed to be fun anyway lady 😂😂😂. Love seeing your work pop again!

  2. Mixed feelings….. I’m surrounded by kids all day (stay at home mom) there are certain places I️ go to get away from children, and yes I’m extremely disappointed when I️ pay 65.00 a plate to get away from kids and I’m sat next to a tantrum waiting to happen at a restaurant that serves alcohol and football games

    But I️ see the other side as well
    Like I️ said mixed emotions

    1. Just playing devils advocate here!– so please no hard feelings (all in good manner!) –But maybe some people aren’t as fortunate enough to have an on call babysitter or grand parents to call to take the kids for the night– or even have someone near by to make arrangements ahead of time. Either way, we all need to get out of the house, kids and all! My parents took me everywhere– including bars and restaurants where I could order a $65 lobster and enjoy it with them. 😂

  3. “Because you look ugly with that joyless judgment on your face. And your haircut is stupid.”

    So don’t judge or only judge when it’s convenient? Don’t cast stones in that glass house, girlfriend.

    1. I honestly don’t like anyone else’s kids. I still treat them like a human but if your precious snowflake is being a little shit, then I don’t have to enjoy being around them, and frankly your kid should know about it. (Off to read the article now)

  4. There are places to take kids and depending on how well behaved your child is a art museum or exhibit may not be the best place for a kid. My cousin had his art destroyed because some kid though it was ok to climb on it. I also have a lot of friends who are artist and yes children near their art that took them probably days,months, or years to create makes them understandably nervous. If you are going to bring your kid to view art please watch them carefully and make sure they understand no touching.

  5. Sarah Marschie

    Even though I’m childfree, the only time I am slightly rude and might give dirty looks is if the kid looks like they’re still at the pretty young age where they run around and scream/cry/etc. (or lay in the carrier and scream/cry/etc.?) and that’s just because with my mental health if I hear too many loud noises when I’m not purposefully putting myself in a loud noise situation (ex: concert) it stresses me out and could cause me to have an anxiety attack. So idk, I guess just keep in mind some people do have pretty good reasons to be less than thrilled about seeing a kid come into a place.

Leave a Reply

Show this
Hide this