What Mom Friends Shouldn’t Say

From the first moment you announce that you are expecting a little bundle of joy, in the sea of congratulations and heart emojis, you are always hit with at least one dreaded “just wait!” Your baby is literally only the size of a small fruit and Debbie Downer is already hitting you with:


“Just wait until you are 9 months pregnant and you want to die!”


“Just wait until you see how horrible labor is!”


“Just wait until they are born and you never ever sleep again and your life is over!” etc.


Seriously thank God for these “warnings” or I would have never known that pregnancy can be hard, labor can be hard and BEING A PARENT WILL BE HARD!  By the way, here I am a parent of two babies under the age of two and about 97% of the “just waits” never actually happened to me. Not all pregnancies and children are the same? Who knew?


Let’s not insult each other’s intelligence. We have Google, we have books, we have mom friends, and we have blogs from intelligent women who tell it like it is (wink, wink). If you want to find out all the ins and outs of pregnancy and parenting you can and you will.


Trust me, I don’t want to rag on my generation, but we are the generation of chronic complainers. No one has had it harder than us… Sometimes, I think fellow mom stories are just a battle to make sure you know that no matter what you’ve been through, they have had it worse. Our mothers and grandmothers had children during a time with no Google, no blogs, no gas drops, no video monitors (my life), no vibrating Rock n’ Play, no disposable diapers, and most times no epidural (Dear God).


These women have experienced things a lot harder than most of us ever will and what do these women tell you when you announce that you are pregnant? They say that they are happy for you and congratulations! I think we need to take a lesson from these seasoned vets. Being a new mom is terrifying enough already without people throwing unsolicited warnings at you. I literally had a new mom friend tell me that I was the only person who had positive things to tell her about being a mother… Why are we setting up our fellow women for failure?


What new Moms really need is courage and reassurance that literally everything is going to be alright. Will it be hard? Of course! Everything worthwhile during your life will be hard, but it will be amazing as well.


Think of a football team before their game. Do they all sit around the locker room with their heads down discussing what can and will go wrong the entire time? No! They get amped up to kick some ass! Ladies we can and we will kick ass at parenting! We need to build each other up! We literally have zero to gain from scaring a new Mom with our “just waits.”


There will be hard days of course, but don’t ever let it make you forget that women are the strongest force this world has ever known! We grow babies, birth babies, nurse babies, and kick ass every single day. Sometimes all we need on our worst days is a friendly reminder that we can do it.


So, the next time Debbie starts a sentence with “Just wait…” kindly put your hand up and say, “Thanks Debbie, but I’ll find out when I get there.”


Danielle is a stay at home Mom to two beautiful nuggets, Henry and Graham. Her hobbies include forcing her boys to snuggle with her, watching Disney movies on repeat, drinking Coca-Cola, and long country drives with her family. You can find her on Instagram.


Want to read more great blogs by The Spilled Milk Club? Like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram!

Spread the word:

7 Responses

Leave a Reply

Show this
Hide this