They say love happens when you aren’t looking for it. I never had to look for love; it was actually the opposite (Read last week’s blog to catch up…). Quick recap: being single was not easy for me because I was trying to fulfill this void of inconsistency in my life. I was the girl who jumped from relationship to relationship and it finally caught up with me.
“Love is what happens when you make other plans.”
After I, (errr…. kind of) broke up with my long-term college bae, I simply wanted to find myself. I didn’t know who I really was or what I wanted. Not to mention, life after college really sucks even without a breakup. You move back home and suddenly have rules, again. I apologize, Nonnie, for snapping at you every time you asked my plans for the day. I longed for independence once again.
Aside from the helicopter parents, post-college daily life is also a struggle. I wasn’t someone who jumped right into their career. I still worked as a server at the local country club and all of my friends lived over an hour away. My weekends suddenly came to a screeching halt and my Internet connection sucked…. Wait. We didn’t have wifi, how could I forget?
I did what any other post-college-twenty-something would do when she was feeling lost… I went shopping. After a little retail therapy, I realized I needed to make a plan. Partially because my bank account was about drained and partially because I knew I couldn’t take another weekend hanging with my grandmother. (JK I love you Nonnie).
1.) Lock in my new jobs as radio DJ/model
2.) Win Miss Indiana and get ready for Miss America
3.) Save enough money to get an apartment
4.) Find friends
5.) Officially break up with my boyfriend who didn’t like 1-4
Five things on my to-do list didn’t seem so hard. Besides number five, of course. Nowhere in my plan was to find another guy who had preconceived plans for me. No way Jose!
That’s when I met him.
It was a thousand percent innocent, how we met. He and his family walked into the country club I served at and sat in my section. His mom struck up a conversation about my tacky knee brace and he invited me to play on his beach volleyball team. When his team captain turned me down, he insisted he make it up by taking me to dinner. Every bone in my body was telling me that it was a bad idea because I didn’t have time for another guy! I had huge goals! 5 to be exact!
Oh yeah, and number 5 was still there….
That date was unlike anything I have ever experienced. We talked for 3 hours before we even looked at the menu. Of all the things we talked about, I’ll never forget what he said to me. “You are going to do great things, Mekayla.” He had only known me for 4 hours and he believed in me more than any other guy I had dated in eight years.
I am not sure if that was love at first… date? but I knew this guy was different.
I knew Chris was the one when I realized he made me a better person. I didn’t have to lean on him to feel significant and he never expected me to drop my life for his. He truly believed that I could achieve any goal I set fourth and trust me, my goals were pretty damn high.
Even as I re-read that paragraph, it doesn’t seem to justify how it happened.
I knew my husband was the one when we helped each other be the best versions of ourselves.
So what about #5, you ask? If you read my blog from last week, it will all make sense. The hard truth is, your goals are important. If you are with someone who doesn’t make you and your goals a priority, they may not be the right one for you. Don’t forget, the door swings both ways. If you are with someone who’s goals aren’t important to you, don’t waist your time.
When you find THE ONE, you will know. Somehow life will all make sense but life that life shouldn’t be one sided. You will know because you will be better together.