Old Woman. Ball and Chain. The Boss.
In my pre-married life, I would cringe in movies when husbands would call their wives by these names. They wouldn’t call their wives by these things to their face, at least I hope not… but then again it was just a movie.
I never imagined myself as one of those women who got upset with their husbands if they stayed out late with the guys or when they don’t take out the trash. I didn’t like the idea of the wives always playing the bad-cop and the husbands always coming to the rescue. I certainly didn’t want to ever give my husband a reason to use one of the above nicknames when describing me to friends. I do, however, get upset when my husband forgets to take the trash out—that’s a real thing.
Why are marriages always portrayed as anything but happy?
What also bothered me was when I got criticized for basically living with Chris before we got married. “When you do get married nothing will change,” my grandmother would say. Let me tell you, a lot changed when we got married. We no longer were separate entities but a two-person-team who’s separate lives danced together in unison. We are still two separate people after all; we just take the other into consideration. Marriage consists of compromise and sacrifice but we are finding out that if you have open communication, there is less sacrifice and more adaptation.
The old ball and chain, however, is something that I absolutely refuse to become.
I know you have already read my spiel on being the modern-day housewife, but I am talking about me as a human. I don’t want to be the nagging housewife that 90’s sitcoms always portrayed. I don’t want to wear my hair in the mom-cut and wear the infamous mom-jeans now that I have a ring on my finger. One of my biggest fears about getting married was not sharing my life with another person, it was meeting the person I was supposed to become.
I have this ideal wife image in my head and she is anything but sexy. This wife has perfectly manicured nails and wears a modest dress that comes right to her knees. She has perfectly shiny hair that bounces when she walks. She wears aprons that match her oven mitts and always makes sure there are fresh cookies displayed on the desert tray in the center of the kitchen island. There isn’t a spot of dust in the house, nor a pile of unfolded laundry in sight.
It’s safe to say that I am the complete opposite.
I still love to eat out and make crazy messes in the kitchen when I do decide to cook. I am totally a break-and-bake-cookie kind of girl and I spend most of my days in workout clothes with my fave Nike’s on. When I do decide to get dressed up, I want to look hot. Not because I want the attention of others, I want my husband to do a double-take when I walk into the room. I like seven-inch heels and backless dresses; let me tell you, they don’t even come close to my knees. My swimsuits are always skimpy and I could care less if I go out in public without a lick of makeup.
A lot did change when Chris and I said our vows. We changed from ME to an US but we both decided to just be ourselves. We didn’t follow the book and I’m sure we have already broken all the rules. We aren’t picture perfect and I am far from the ideal housewife. The woman Chris fell in love with 6 years ago had feathers in her hair and not a care in the world. She wore 7 inch heels and micro-mini dresses to parties. She didn’t waste her time worrying about modesty, she simply wanted to be free.
I vow to never become that ideal wife and certainly not a ball-and-chain type of gal. When I got married I didn’t lose part of my self, I found the person I was meant to be.
I am the perfect mix of pageant girl, meets model, meets suburban housewife… And I’m good with staying sexy.
You can follow Miss Indiana USA 2014, Mekayla Eppers, on Instagram at MissMekaylaFitness and SpilledMilkClub.